How can we increase the odds of achieving what we really want?

Now that the holiday mania has settled, I’ve been reflecting on how to take a more empowered and inspired approach to making positive habit changes in 2025.

I’ll admit it: I’m not a fan of New Year’s resolutions. They often lead to unrealistic goals, and most of us end up slipping back into the same undesirable habits. The cycle can feel so demoralizing.

Why Resolutions Don’t Work (for Me)

Toward the end of 2024, I experimented with a few behavior-change apps. They were based on proven strategies—yada yada—but I couldn’t deal with yet another ping notification or the chore of tracking progress in an app.

Next, I tried intention-setting (read: my husband and I wrote down priorities for 2025 during a rare date night). In the moment, it felt great! But the next day, that list of priorities felt like a list of “shoulds”—and we all know how motivating those are (not).

I realized I needed a different approach.

The Skincare Parallel: What I Learned from Building Syll Botanics

At some point, I started reflecting on why I launched Syll in the first place. I’ll never forget standing in front of the mirror, pregnant and feeling so frustrated by my blotchy, red face and dry, itchy skin.

For years, I’d struggled with acne, pigmentation from scars, and the first signs of fine lines. Now, my skin was sensitive on top of everything else.

I didn’t have time for a 5+ step skincare routine that changed day and night—and frankly, I’ve never had time for that. I was also overwhelmed by choice. The message seemed to be: “Buy a ton of products to get the results you want.” But which were pregnancy-safe? Why did so many of them irritate my skin? And why did they all have to smell so...perfumed?

I wanted a routine that worked for my skin and my lifestyle. It had to be simple but effective, so I could action it every day. It also had to be enjoyable— a beautiful experience I looked forward to!

That moment in front of the mirror was a turning point. I decided to figure out what was missing from the routines I’d tried and create the skincare I—and so many other women—needed.

This led to an incredible journey of studying skincare formulation, doing thousands of hours of research and development, and eventually launching Syll Botanics.

And as I reflected on that experience, I realized that the same principles could help me… and maybe you… build better habits.

A Minimalistic Framework for Goal Setting

Based on readings about behavior change and my own trial and error, I came up with a simple framework for goal setting. Here it is:

1. The goal must be a want.
2. The want must be actionable long-term.
3. The journey must be enjoyable.

That’s it! Simple, right? Here’s how it works:

1. The Goal Must Be a Want: It can’t feel like a “should.” We’re all saturated (and exhausted) by “shoulds.” Instead, ask yourself, “What do I really want?” Or as one therapist put it: “What, for me, feels like a ‘hell yes’?”
2. The Want Must Be Actionable Long-Term: Small, sustainable actions win every time. If the process feels like a burden, it’ll fail. Period.
3. The Journey Must Be Enjoyable: Fun, beautiful, delicious, exciting—whatever makes you look forward to the process. If you enjoy the journey, you won’t have to rely on willpower alone.

Putting the Framework Into Action

Let’s take an example most of us can relate to: exercise.

In the past, I’ve struggled with consistency. I’d set goals like going to the gym or yoga 3-4 days a week. It would work for a while, but eventually, it became too onerous and I’d stop. Sound familiar?

So for 2025, here’s how I’m applying the framework:

1. My Want: To exercise regularly.
2. Actionable: Short workouts, at home, more often. Long workouts that require driving somewhere just don’t fit my life right now. So I’m letting go of that expectation.
3. Enjoyment: The Peloton app has been amazing! It offers a huge variety of workouts, and I only follow the instructors I love. I'm also trying to practice a handstand every day because they are FUN. And on days when I don't workout, at least I've done that!

This approach has been a game-changer so far. I look forward to my workouts, and I’ve found myself fitting them in - even on days when I previously wouldn’t have done anything.

What Would Syll (and YOU) Do?!

The key takeaway here is that goals and habits shouldn’t feel like more weight on your plate. They should feel empowering.

This framework helped me create a simple, effective skincare routine that fit my lifestyle and values. Now, it’s helping me turn exercise into a non-negotiable.

What’s next? I’m resisting the urge to rush into that.

Does this resonate with you? How could you apply this framework in 2025? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Xo
Hilary